19 days without my family

This morning I woke up at 6:00 to feed Aubrey. I fed her in her room just like I always do. The only difference today was that she stared at me and smiled the whole time while I cried my eyes out. I held her tightly and kissed her forehead probably twenty times. I just had that feeling that I did when I held Avery Kate in the emergency room day. I just told Aubrey... Don't you go anywhere. You stay here and wait for mommy to come home. You have to be here when I get back ok? Again, she just smiled. Hallie cried a little too, but not nearly as much as I did. Brandon and I tried to pretend like it was so cool that I would be away because they were going to have so much fun! I also promised her that I would be coming home. I didn't want her to think that I was going away just like Avery Kate did. I managed to hold it together, but it was sooo hard! I could barely see through the tears in my eyes as I checked in at the air port. But you know what... I made it. I'm half way to New York now and I know I will be ok. That's the good thing about having God on my side... I will always be ok... No matter what. And after all... I get to have one of my babies with me this entire week and I feel her presence.