On September 1, we celebrated Avery Kate's 2nd birthday. It was the 2nd time that we all celebrated a beautiful life without the guest of honor. It was the second birthday with no cake, no candles, no presents, and worst of all... No little birthday girl running around my house. How can it be that another year without my sweet girl has passed again. I still remember that amazing day like it was yesterday, and it's a day that I cherish and hold in my heart. It was the day a true angel was born. I am so lucky to have had her in my life, even though it was such a short time. I sure would give anything to have one more day, even one more minute with my baby girl. I miss her so much! This time of year is especially tough because these were the days I was able to share with Avery Kate. The weather, the smells, the pumpkin spice lattes; they all remind me of Avery Kate. Most of the time they make me smile, but every now and then something may bring a tear to my eye.
And now my sweet little Aubrey will turn one year old tomorrow. I'm having the hardest time with this. I have been putting off her party and everything dealing with her birthday and I never truly understood why until this morning. I was trying to explain why it was so tough for me and it hit me. Aubrey is celebrating a day that Avery Kate was never able to do. And the older Aubrey gets, the more of Avery Kate I lose. I feel like as long as she's a baby in my arms, a small piece of Avery Kate is in there. But now Aubrey is getting older and it just makes me grieve Avery Kate that much more. I no longer have a baby in house. It's really tough. I'm actually holding Aubrey in my arms as I type this. I don't want to put her to bed. I don't want her to wake up and be a big girl. How did this year go by so quickly? You know, people always say to cherish those moments when your kids are little because they pass by so fast? I did! I cherished every single moment with this baby girl and it still wasn't enough. You'd think with the advances in technology someone would have figured out how to pause time right? What are these brainiacs doing with their spare time these days?
I also know another great saying that I can swear to be true. "Time flies when you're having fun!" I completely agree and that's the exact reason this year has gone by so quickly. Our family has had some happy times. It's been a great year and I am so thankful that God has sent us these wonderful blessings. Tomorrow morning I plan to wake up with a huge smile on my face and take a million pictures of my happy birthday girl! After all... In our family, a birthday IS a big deal now. We can't take a single one for granted.
Happy 1st Birthday, Aubrey Kathryn Soileau!
