Aubrey Kathryn Soileau was born on Tuesday, October 2, 2012 at 1:03 PM. She weighed 6lbs 11oz; 19.5 in long.
I did really well the morning of the birth even though I had been anticipating this day for 9 long months. I knew it would be just a tidal wave of emotions. I was so nervous to hold another baby in my arms, feel such strong love for her, and at the same time have that fear that it could be ripped from me in an instant. The moment I saw Aubrey, tears immediately fell from my eyes. I was so happy to meet my baby girl. I cried tears of joy at that moment and knew I was already completely in love. I felt such a relief as I watched them clean her up and take her measurements. I did it! I made it through the delivery and I was OK. We let all our family and friends in the room to meet the newest addition to our family. The nurses had just finished cleaning her up, and they placed her in my arms. I cannot even begin to explain the way I felt; there are no words to describe it. I fought so hard to keep the tears in, but I broke to a million pieces. I was so happy and scared at the same time. I was reminded of that moment I held Avery Kate for the first time. It was just so overwhelming. These two pictures capture that moment:
She had a little trouble with her breathing once she was born, so they kept her on the warmer for a while. She finally got the hang of it and Hallie was able to hold her. She absolutely loves her!! She knew exactly what to do with her and was an amazing big sister right from the start.
That night we decided to send Aubrey to the nursery to sleep. She was on a sleep apnea monitor from the hospital but we knew we would sleep better with her in the nursery under constant supervision. When the nurse came to get her, I had a really hard time. It felt like that moment when I gave Avery Kate to the social worker in the ER for the very last time. Of course I broke down once again. We had such an emotional and wonderful day and it is one I will never forget.
We stayed at the hospital for two nights and went home on Thursday. I wanted them to keep me forever! I love the staff at the hospital and it's so comforting knowing that Aubrey was being monitored. The hospital sent us home with an apnea monitor. They told us it would have many false alarms and it would probably go off a lot. It went off like crazy at the hospital and Brandon and I were completely freaked out. It seemed like this monitor was going to be more of a pain and a curse than the blessing we were hoping for. Our first night at home was amazing though! Aubrey slept like a champ and that monitor never went off. Of course Brandon and I woke up a million times and checked on her anyways. I was actually able to rest knowing that monitor was on her. Thank goodness we have it!
One of my biggest fears has been that once Aubrey was born, everyone would forget about Avery Kate. I was especially worried that Hallie would forget about her now that she has a little sister again. Mrs. Christy took Hallie to go get some pumpkins on Saturday. She came back with some big pumpkins and some little tiny ones. Hallie said she wanted to bring one to Avery Kate's grave. My heart completely melted! I know Hallie's memories of Avery Kate will fade with time because she is so young, but we will be the ones to keep her memory alive through pictures and stories that we tell her. I just love that she thought to bring her sister a pumpkin though! I still tear up just thinking about it.
I've had some deja vu moments here at home these past few days that have made me have little break downs, but I know I have a very special angel on my side helping me through every step of this new journey. What they say about rainbows is true, it does not mean the storm never existed, or that we are not still dealing with its aftermath. It means that something beautiful and full of light can appear through the dark clouds. Aubrey is our rainbow baby for a reason. She was handpicked and sent to us for a reason. I'm so happy and thankful to have her in my life.
This is a collage of all three of my girls on the day they came home from the hospital. It is so special to me!