Avery Kate

Avery Kate was a healthy ten week old baby girl who went to sleep for a nap and woke up in Heaven. We miss her every second of every day. SIDS became a reality in our family and we will never forget our beautiful baby girl.

Friday, December 23, 2011

Our first 2 weeks together

After Labor Day weekend ended and the crowd settled down, it was just Avery Kate and me. There were many movies and Law and Order SVU episodes watched during those first 2 weeks. Not to mention how much Cancun cheese dip I put away. So much for losing my baby weight right? I'd feed Avery Kate at around 10:00 every night. I'd put her to sleep in her bassinet right by my bedside, and everyone would sleep through the night. When I say everyone, I mean Brandon would sleep, Hallie would sleep, Avery Kate would sleep, and of course Sadie would sleep. Me? No way! Avery Kate slept on my side of the bed and she sounded like a game of Angry Birds. Seriously! She would snort, snort, snort, and squeal away all through the night leaving me wide awake. She sounded like she was choking a few times, and I immediately jumped up to her rescue to find her sound asleep; not a care in the world. Wonderful, just wonderful. Here I am worrying myself and shining my cell phone light on her sweet angelic face, and she is just dreaming away into Never Never Land? Well that's fair! I always heard people talking about how they were so sleep deprived because their babies screamed and cried all night, or woke up hungry throughout the night, or had colic, etc. But here I am with a sleeping baby, and I'm not sleeping. Something was wrong with this picture.
I'd wake up around 6:00 AM to feed her and then swaddle her up really good, and put her back to sleep. I'd fall asleep while Brandon got ready for work. I'd wake up again around 7:30 and dress Hallie. I'd kiss them both goodbye, and I was out like a light. Avery Kate no longer sounded like a game of Angry Birds, she slept so soundly during this time. I used to wish and pray that she could sleep this soundly during the night hours. Around 10:00 I would yank myself out of bed and get in the shower. Avery Kate would never make a sound. She looked like a little angel in her bassinet; just sleeping so sound. I'd get out and fix her bottle then contemplate whether or not to wake up such a peaceful baby. I would though because I knew I didn't want her to get too far off of her feeding schedule. I'd feed her, and then hold her for a while as I watched any and everything that TiVo had recorded for me during the night. I remember being so bored because she would never cry. She just sat there and looked around or slept silently... all day long! I mean, I wasn't complaining, but geeze... 8 weeks of this was sure to get old. At least I knew I'd be able to drive in the days to come, and then at least we'd get to go shopping or visit our family and friends. But for now, I was bored out of my mind! I even thought about going back to school before my full eight weeks were over, but then I remember thinking..."Brandi, you'll never get this time back with her. Ever. She'll grow up while you blink your eyes, and you will never again be able to sit at home and stare into those beautiful blue eyes again. Don't go back to work. You will never get this time back." I never knew how much those thoughts meant; never thought they'd be THAT true.

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