Avery Kate

Avery Kate was a healthy ten week old baby girl who went to sleep for a nap and woke up in Heaven. We miss her every second of every day. SIDS became a reality in our family and we will never forget our beautiful baby girl.

Sunday, February 12, 2012

With every death, there is new life.

February 8, 2012. Since the day Avery Kate passed, Brandon and I knew that we'd have more children. My arms just felt so empty! I loved Hallie having a sister and someone to "play with." I knew there would be no way possible to ever replace Avery Kate, but I knew I wanted another baby to bring some more love and happiness into our lives.
Well let's face it, my body was really out of whack! I had been through so much in two months and there is just no getting pregnant when your body is this stressed. I called my doctor the week before and told him my body was acting crazy and I needed him to fix it! I went in for my appointment that Wednesday at 9:30. I had someone cover my class, because I knew I'd be right back after my appointment. Brandon came with me. We sat and talked to the doctor for a little over an hour. He wanted to reassure us that we did nothing wrong with Avery Kate and we were great parents. He gave me a recipe for getting pregnant which included exercising, relaxing, clearing my mind, etc. Anything to get me to be stress free. I just wanted a pill! I wanted him to snap his fingers and make me pregnant! He said it didn't work like that. I have to admit, I was mad!

Now normally I take a pregnancy test two days before my period is due. I can't wait! For Avery Kate I knew I was pregnant at three and half weeks! But this time, I didn't take a test. I knew I wasn't pregnant this time. I wasn't going to disappoint myself by taking a test just to see a big fat negative. Well my doctor had all these tests written up to check all my levels to be sure I was OK to get pregnant now. Then he said, "Would you mind if I ran a quick urine pregnancy test here just to rule that out?" Sure, why not? I knew it was going to be negative. He took forever! I mean, I realize he has other patients, but I felt like I was the only one in the office that day. In the back of my mind I kept picturing him walking back into the room and screaming, "You're pregnant!" But then I'd snap myself back to reality. I knew deep down that I wasn't and I didn't want to get my hopes up. When he came back into the room, he had this strange look on his face. I thought he was going to try to make me feel better for getting a negative result. Then he said, "We ran it twice just to be sure, and they both came back positive." I couldn't believe it! I started to cry. I wasn't sure if they were happy tears, scared tears, guilty tears, or thankful tears. They may have been a mixture of them all! Brandon and I just looked at each other in disbelief. I couldn't go back to school. I was just too full of emotions! I knew this had to happen for us soon now that we had Avery Kate and Paw Paw routing for us up there! I just never thought it would be now.
The doctor wanted to be sure everything was OK, so I did blood work that I'd have to repeat in 48 hours, and got a RhoGAM shot.
The first person I told was Avery Kate. I know she already knew, but I went straight to her grave and thanked her for her part in this miracle. Then Brandon and I picked up lunch and went to share our news with Honey and Pops. They were so excited for us and can't wait to keep this baby too!
We still weren't sure that everything was OK, so we didn't share our news with the "world" until Friday. I did more blood work, and got word from the doctor that everything looked good.
I know God has blessed us with a true miracle. I am so thankful!!!
I know this all happened the way it did for a reason. In the past, any time I'd have a moment of silence, I would replay that awful moment when the doctor told me about Avery Kate. It didn't replay it in the horrible way that  it really happened, but it still replayed in my mind every single day. Now when I have a moment of silence, I replay that happy moment when my wonderful doctor gave the news of our new miracle baby. Thank you Jesus!
When a baby is born following the death of a previous child or miscarriage, that baby is called a rainbow baby. We know we will never replace sweet Avery Kate, but we welcome happiness into our lives.

1 comment:

  1. What a special blessing Brandi, I am so excited for everyone in your family. I love you tons!