Avery Kate

Avery Kate was a healthy ten week old baby girl who went to sleep for a nap and woke up in Heaven. We miss her every second of every day. SIDS became a reality in our family and we will never forget our beautiful baby girl.

Monday, February 27, 2012

Let it pour!

And so the sickness begins!! I started getting sick on Wednesday and it's just getting worse every day. I knew it was coming so I'm not at all surprised. On the bright side, it lets me know that this little pea in here is alive and healthy. I went to my first real doctor's appointment today. He did an ultrasound and we saw the tiniest little heartbeat. He is also doing more ultrasounds and letting us see a high risk specialist just to keep my sanity. The more we can rule out the better. I am already nervous as can be so all these extra treatments will just help ease my mind.
On the other hand, this sickness makes me grieve Avery Kate even more! I now remember all these same feelings I had when I was pregnant with her. It's just so weird that I'm pregnant with another baby and it's not Avery Kate. It makes me miss her more and realize that she is never coming home.
I'm also kind of freaking out! My two pregnancies were totally different. This one mirrors Avery Kate's though. So you know I'm thinking, well since this one is just like hers, then the same thing will happen to this baby. I know it's highly unlikely, but I can't help or control the thoughts that go through my head.
Brandon and Hallie have been real troopers. Hallie is the sweetest little nurse. She's been waiting on me hand and foot. She is just so sweet! I look at her and remember why I'm doing all of this. And thank goodness for a wonderful husband! My poor house would be falling apart if it weren't for him. I really am blessed in so many ways.
This is only the beginning! I'm only 7 weeks along. The storm has only just begun. I can see that beautiful rainbow at the end of the tunnel though. So I say, "Bring it on!" I know this is all worth it in so many ways. I look forward... Way forward... To that moment when I can hold our baby in our arms and feel happiness. Bring on the rain, God! I'm ready!

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